Blurry Window of My Life is moving to Medium!!

Hi guys! Just want to let you know that I will no longer post in this blog anymore due to some reasons. In the future I will post more on my Medium --> https://medium.com/@mettahandika
Please kindly visit it.
Have a nice day! :D

Living a less toxic life... but how?

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“How can she live with her boyfriend? They haven’t even married yet.”

“A girl with tattoos is indeed a naughty one.”

“Boys who use makeup are gay.”

“Those LGBTQs will surely go to hell, I MUST save them!”

...

Do you ever feel that you put your nose in others’ faces too often? (Re: minding other people’s business)

Well, me too.

More than 7 billion people in this world, with different races, different religions, different personalities, different point of views, and of course, different thoughts.

I must admit that it is hard to live with those differences.

We often don’t realize that we are minding other people’s business too much. Not only minding as in we directly interfere others’ life, but also as in it produces toxic thoughts – the kind of thoughts that bring us a negative mind.

Then, how to live a less toxic life?

“Every religion is the same, they teach kindness.” – have you ever heard of this?

There are roughly 4200 religions in this world. In my opinion, yes maybe most of them are teaching kindness. But, it’s not that simple. The “kindness” in every religion is different.

Simple example: for Muslims, sacrificing animals during several occasions is kindness, a right thing to do. For Buddhists, absolutely not! Buddhists believe that killing animal is a sin, so it’s a wrong thing to do. But should we try to convince Muslims not to do that? Because it’s good to help others living a better life (based on our beliefs)? No.

For me, I divide my definition of right and wrong into 2 types.

The generals

I define the generals as the definition that I need to apply to everyone. As long as it doesn’t hurt other people, then I won’t say it’s a wrong thing to do. As long as it brings positive impacts to others, then it’s a right thing to do. But actually this kind of definition is still quite blurry too. If something can hurt me, doesn’t mean that it will 100% surely hurt you too.  Until now, I still use my common sense and try to put myself in others’ shoe too. Additional notes: If it’s not wrong, doesn’t mean it’s right. If it’s not right, doesn’t mean it’s wrong too.

The not-generals

The not-general is the definition that I will apply to myself. Every person has a point of view of what is wrong and what is right, despite from the generals; a point of view that can’t be applied to everyone. For example: because I’m a Buddhist, I believe that killing animal is a sin, including eating live seafood - therefore I try my best not to do it. But then it doesn’t mean that I need to interfere with other people’s life and scold them when they eat live seafood. I keep the definition for myself because it’s me who believe that it’s true.
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These definitions have been helping me a lot in living a less toxic life. When I try to think and act using these 2 definitions, I know better when are the times to voice my opinion and have a more not-biased thought. When seeing someone living his/her life according their not-generals definition, I try not to mind it even though it's wrong according to my not-generals definition.

Now let’s think again:

Does couple that live together hurt other people?

Does someone with tattoos hurt other people?

Does boy who use makeup hurt other people?

Does LGBTQ hurt other people?

Everyone has their own way to be happy, and it is most likely different for each of us. If what they do doesn’t hurt others, is it that hard to let them be happy in their own way?

A Story Behind (and About) My Trip to Beijing with Baidu Indonesia

"How can I go to Beijing?"

I still remember last year I asked this very-straightforward-question to someone in Baidu booth at Tech In Asia Jakarta (because one of my senior went there with Baidu) and they recommended me to join Baidu Marketing Competition. In order to join, I need to make a marketing plan in paper and presentation. That was the 2nd marketing competition I've ever joined, and I never make any structured marketing plan at all. My background is also very far away from marketing, as I am a Computer Science student. But still, I made the paper and presentation wholeheartedly with Beijing as my end in mind. I also asked people for references and googled a lot. (Special thanks to Hanie & Ko Tony who gave me references and advices!<3) I ended up being the 2nd winner of this competition, and I was given a trip to Beijing + some cash as the prize.

Hard work paid off! \(^O^)/

Long story short, last week was finally the time I went to Beijing. I went there with Ka Stara from Baidu and Haikal (The 1st winner). We were supposed to go with the 3rd winner also, but unfortunately she couldn't join us.

It was autumn in Beijing and I've never experienced autumn before, but I checked on the internet and they say autumn is the best time to visit Beijing. The best part was I can be tired by walking and climbing a lot but no sweating at all! Plus I can still bear the cold anyway so no biggie ^O^

In Beijing, we visited some popular tourism spots like The Great Wall, Summer Palace, Tian An Men Square, Olympic Stadium, Forbidden City; also some shopping places.

Here are some documentations:

Casually posing at The Great Wall 

The famous Forbidden City

Summer Palace in Autumn

Beijing Olympics Stadium

Despite from the famous tourism spots, we also visited Baidu's Headquarter, and it was a really nice experience. Baidu's Headquarter is really big! They even have some sliders inside the office. Besides, they also have garden, some restaurants (which the employees can eat there for free), gym, salon, and sleeping rooms! 

The garden

Sleeping rooms! Very cutee

Can you notice the slider?

With Mr Josh from Baidu Global Marketing Team

Me & Haikal in front of Baidu's headquarter!

Lastly, I would like to thank Baidu for giving me this precious opportunity to visit Beijing.

For me who's coming from a middle class family, it's quite hard to go abroad with my own money because I don't receive any pocket money anymore from my parents, and I don't have a stable income as I'm still a student. But with programs like this, it's not impossible anymore to go abroad, even though there are a lot of hard work that need to be done first.

Dreams are the ones that keep me doing tough things, and they do come true if you really work hard to achieve it!🙏🏻

A Short Thought From A Passion-less Person

I used to have a very severe anxiety when someone asks me what my passion is. I have read it so many times that "Passion is the thing(s) that we want to do for free happily" and I'm like "Wait, what... I don't have one" or "Passion is what you enjoy the most," and I'm like, "If that's what passion is, then my passion can change rapidly every year or month". Also I have read and attended some sessions on finding our true passions and can't even sure what mine is. My dream job is also changing time by time, from doctor to programmer to graphic designer to writer to marketer and I'm sure in the future the list will still go on and on, while deep down knowing that I'm not sure either if it's really the thing that I want to do in my whole life until I die.

And even this severe anxiety brought me to the point that when someone tells me "You are good at so many things, it must be easy for you to find jobs", I don't feel happy like it is a compliment, instead it reminds me of how lack-of-passion and passion-less I am. I feel like I can relate so much to the phrase "jack of trades but master of none." I am good at A, B, C, D, but I don't master any of A, B, C, D.

Since I was little I also really adore people that have speciality and I used to think that those kind of people are the people that will easily succeed in life. They know what they like, they know their purpose, they know how to be more and more good at that field, and they have spent a bunch of time to dig more to that field. Meanwhile me, spending years in university studying something that is not my passion but also at the same time relieved because I didn’t get to go to a major that I THOUGHT was my passion. 

But one day (precisely yesterday), I unintentionally bumped into this video from TED, with Emilie Wapnick as the speaker. Emilie studied law during university time, was a musician, once was a web design freelancer, and other experiences in totally different fields - which is why I can relate to her emotionally. It is actually a video from last year and only lasts for 12 minutes, but so relatable - much more than all the hours I have spent to read and attend sessions about “Passions” or “Finding Your True Self” or others similar to that.

Emilie calls people with many interests as “multipotentialites” – which in my opinion is a really beautiful and positive term. In the video Emilie explained a lot on why it is not a problem to not having a fixed passion, a fixed true calling. She also explained 3 super powers which multipotentialites’ have: idea synthesis, rapid learning and adaptability. Moreover, she also told the audiences that it is okay to be a specialist or a multipotentialites and saying that both are good, that the combination of a specialist and a multipotentialite is beautiful – in which I agree.

I find this video is so comforting for me to watch, it lifted the anxiety on my shoulders (maybe not all but I'm sure it's quite a big amount of it). This video is the first passion-related session for me that doesn’t force me to find what my passion is, but instead telling me that it is okay to change passion time by time or have many passions at once and perhaps the more important thing is - the world need multipotentialites.

“Fast Company magazine identify adaptability as the single most important skill to develop in order to thrive in the 21at century. The ecomomic world is changing so quickly and unpredictably that it is the individuals and organizations that can pivot in order to meet the needs of the market that are really going to thrive.” – one of the part of the video that convince me that the world needs multipotentialites.

Actually this post is supposed to be a Facebook status but it is way too long to the point that I decided to put it on my blog, also hoping one day I can go back to this post to remind me (and you) that it is alright to not have a fixed passion and have many interests in life, because there are too many people that encourage multipotentialites to be a specalist.

So for all the multipotentialites out there I want to tell you:

If you have changed your dream job many times...
It's alright.

If you have so many interests and can't decide which of them is your true calling...
It's alright.

If you have spent so much time to study this and that and be good at them BUT still can't figure out what your passion is...
It's alright.

Because I think the most important thing in life is to be kind and happy. Seems simple and easy, but actually for me it is so hard to achieve. True happiness can't be defined just by what our fixed-passion is and if we follow our passion or not.
You can master one thing or be good at many things, it is alright and remember the world needs both of us. Just keep learning and don't forget to be kind. Cheers! <3

Ps: What I explained here is only a lil bit from the video so you can watch the video down below for further understanding!